To The Ones Who Haven't Felt Okay Lately
I know you're feeling blue right now. It happened suddenly. Without a warning. It just didn't felt right. You tried to dig down where it came from. You tried to process. To apprehend. But you can't put it into words. You just knew it's a dark place. Like you're riding a train without any destination, without any idea when it will end.
I know you're feeling alone. Like this sad, heart-numbing pain was meant to be felt alone. It's like being in a room full of people but feeling invisible to each and every one of them. It's like drowning into the crowd. You never completely understood why you're feeling so desolated. You feet empty, and depressingly bare.
I know you've been trying to figure things out. You're tirelessly convincing yourself that everything's gonna be alright. This shall pass. You will survive. You distract yourself. You connect to people. You tried everything you could to save yourself. It just didn't work. You're still there. Struggling. Fighting.
I know you probably think this is too much to take. You can't do this. You may feel as if the entire world is against you, draining your strength and crushing your soul. Like it's denying you from happiness. You don't deserve to obtain peace. You don't matter in this lifetime. You have no purpose. You're just there. Unseen. Unheard.
I know you think no one will understand you, no matter how hard you try to explain.No one's gonna rescue and take the fight for you. No one would dare to care. The war is all about you. You alone. You don’t want to be vulnerable only to have your feelings invalidated. You feel like giving up. You're too broken to be fixed. You're exhausted. Depleted. Done. You just want to surrender.
I know deep inside, you’re hoping that there's someone who will hear you out without judgement. The conflict in your mind. The fears in your heart. The chaos in your soul. You wish someone will be there not to fight for you, but to fight with you.
I clearly understand you. I do. But I am not here to tell you that you just have to be optimistic. That you just have to see things differently. That you just need to strengthen your faith and pray. I will not tell you to just have fun. To dance. To sing. To forget what's bothering you. I know you tried those things. I won't even tell you to force yourself in opening these things to your family or friends. And I won't tell you that you will heal immediately, that you will feel okay tomorrow.
What I want to tell you is, you can never be permanently broken. You're strong for managing these feelings, and you will be strong to overcome them. Life can be messy at some point. The road can be too bumpy. But every day you can start again, and every day you have a chance to recover and put yourself back together. It may take time and strength, but it is possible.
Nothing stays the same, even your worst days. Allow yourself to breathe, to recuperate, to heal. Acknowledge the pain, let it sink in. Feel it until it no longer hurts. Then you will realize that it's okay to fall down. It's okay to get hurt. You will outgrow the ache. You can move forward. You can pull yourself out of that pit. You can be your own hero, like you always do.
Trust me, things might not get better tomorrow, but it will get better in time.
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