In This Season of Waiting For You

 



In this season of waiting for you, I'm going to learn to love myself, since you can't fully love and accept another person until you fully love and accept yourself. I'm going to work on my inner demons and take the steps necessary to mend the areas where I haven't yet. I'm going to stop hurling obscenities at myself over my appearance. I'm going to quit comparing myself to others and feeling like I'm falling short. I will stop behaving as if I'm a burden to those who care about me. I'm not going to torture myself just for being alive.


In this season of waiting for you, I am going to focus on my growth.I will purposefully build myself into the person that I want to be. I will do better, be better. I will take this time to meditate on what’s truly important to me. I will set goals and make a plan for how I am going to accomplish them. I will list my hopes and dreams for the future and chase after them the best I can. I will make you proud.


In this season of waiting for you, I will practice to see the beauty in failures, rejections, and betrayals, and I'll strive to pull myself up if despair drowns me in its depths. I'm going to cope with my emotions in a healthy way. I'll force myself to breathe rather than reaching for my phone to post angry rants that I'll be embarrassed about as soon as I cool down. To unwind. To think about what I'm going to say before I spit it. Instead of going for a drink to distract myself from my troubles, I'll force myself to sit with them. Think of them. Deal with them while I'm sober. 


In this season of waiting for you, I'll learn to appreciate my surroundings more and quit whining as a default behavior. When silence envelops me, I will resist the impulse to grumble about how miserable I am, how weary I am, or how anxious I am. Instead, I'll train myselt to look for the bright side. To maintain the positivity at the forefront of my mind while pushing the negativity to the back. I will find peace in solitude, and freely choose to remain unbounded. 


In this season of waiting for you, I will preserve my purity. My intention is to honor God and you in this way. I'll behave and dress accordingly. It has been a long time since the world out there has tried to seduce me with its transient and temporary pleasures, but I have resisted because I was thinking of you, and our future— I want to give you the best of all I am – including my past. For you and the God we both adore, who calls our bodies the "house of His Spirit," I will  keep myself pure.


In this season of waiting for you, I'm going to make God the center of my life. I'm going to let Him decide my fate. I shall pray faithfully and consistently. Allowing my supplications to be heard. No matter how tough the situation is, I will pray. I'll never forget that God has the power to move mountains and split the sea for us. He has the ability to do anything if it is in His will.


In this season of waiting for you, I'm going to strengthen my relationship with God and serve Him. This season of waiting is a season to rely on His strength; a season to place my trust in Him. Season of total surrender and faith that even if I can't see what lies ahead at the other end of the tunnel, He knows His plans for me.


Please know that you will always come second in my heart. Because the only way to love you better is to love Him more, God will always come first. I will keep my focus on Jesus and fall in love with Him first. After all, He is the only one who can truly and completely fulfill me. I will be able to discern and be ready for the type of biblical love worthy of his praise only when I surrender to His will and plan for my life. I'm praying that you'll fall in love with God too rather than with the concept of love, because I can't fulfill you; it's not my job, and I'll merely fall short of your expectations of God's best.


I want you to be comforted in the knowledge that someone loved you before you were born, and that God continues to love you today and forever. I will love you and take care of you the way God wants you to be loved and cared.


I'll love you when you're at your best, but I'll love you even more when you're at your worst.

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